UnravellingWhat is it about events that cause your life to undergo sudden, dramatic changes?It feels very much as though I’ve been a caterpillar, busily and monotonously eating away at the same leaves for decades.
Towards the end of June, my outer self hardened, and currently I resemble goo.
Caterpillar
Education consultancy was the ‘job’ I felt I have had, since 2007. At times, it was a job I was paid to do through a university, or someone’s business, but more often than not I oscillated between volunteering in our community and being paid for consultations, via my tutor your own child business.
The work has been diverse in that no two families are the same, but the fundamental job in all venues remains the same; helping parents connect with their child, so the communication between them is clearer.
Aim: The parent can hear the child, so the child’s authentic needs are met.
But it was more than that. I also helped the parent learn about what developmental needs the child was undergoing and what would come up on their radar next. I explained what the behaviour was revealing, and frequently I held space, so the parent could unload a lot of their own childhood residue that was being triggered.
Becoming a home educator is its own metamorphosis process.
These leaves have been positive, because helping children be free to learn is my jam, and they have been negative because I take on a lot of the emotions, during the consults, in order to connect with the parent and see what they see, feel what they feel etc.
And now I’m tired, and I’m worn a little thin.
So, as previously mentioned, I’ve been planning on a change for a while. Now that change over is complete. The final consulting commitment had been as Nurture Parenting Magazine’s Home Education Mentor. I passed the baton to Micarlé Callea, who owns Fearless Homeschool and runs the wonderful Australian Homeschooling Summits. Tune in fortnightly to the Nurture Parenting Magazine Facebook group to see a new person presenting information for home educators.
All the presentations I recorded, over the past 2 1/2 years, are still there, too.
Leaving Australia
Before leaving, I had many errands to do for my Aunt, a GP appointment for myself, and of course just as you’re about to leave you need to install tracking to the ceiling, make and then install at least one curtain, right? There were many other tasks I managed to complete, and they are fast fading out of memory. This trip was only thought of a little over 3 weeks ago, and now I’m here.
Goo time - currently in France
When I left Australia, the temperature was 10C with clear blue skies, and my eldest who now lives in Sydney caught up with me for lunch. We had a lovely time, although I was out of sorts in my limbo state. I’m hoping I won’t be as scatty next time we catch up. They thought my state was adorable, which is kind.
Stop over in Dubai, it was 36C at 4:30am already. 38C by the time we were bussed to the plane outside on the tarmac, and we all walked up a mobile staircase. As I lugged my only luggage, all carry on, I was reminded that travelling when you’re physically able is preferable. I’m grateful to have just enough health points to still manage it. Even more grateful to have medication on hand when my chronic condition flared up.
Itinerary - Lyon, Strasbourg, Münster, Loughborough, Brighton.
As I rode down the escalator, leaving Lyon Airport into 28C, on my own, with no one around, I heard myself saying “so now I’m in France!” I was just at home, then I moved about, and now I’m here. In a totally different country. People over here can drive for a few hours and travel through three countries. Back home, if you drive for double that, you probably haven’t even left your state.
Being so far away, surrounded by multiple languages, is a lot less overwhelming this time. I didn’t get lost, the French signs are legible after a while. This is my fifth time ‘abroad’. Am I getting used to it?
Solo travel
I’ve met many lovely people on public transport over the years. Local buses to international flights. This time I was very fortunate to spend over half a day in between two lovely women, and then a quarter day next to a happy 6-year-old boy, his mum and sister. It’s not lost on me how privileged we all are to travel so far from home, except the people I made small talk with were frequent travellers. Some chose to live in Dubai due to the central location and ability to travel.
There are a never ending number of people who think of going to Australia one day, but it’s so far. Whereas I travel so far just to leave Australia. It’s a unique point of difference that I’m mulling over mentally.
Have I been overseas so often that it’s actually “mundane”? Kinda… I did arrive back in Australia just this year in January. To leave my home base again, a mere 7 months later, was unexpected and part of my brain was still thinking about that last trip. Not having a large gap is different. Thinking I wouldn’t see Col until November was already integrated into my plans.
This trip was welcomed, of course, but also prompted a sudden change in my work. It has forced me into full-time writing, because I couldn’t continue the mentor lives during prep and this time away. My health was already voting for a change.
I’m now staying for two weeks at my partner’s house, and I’ve uninterrupted writing time. Although, I also plan to absorb the new to me environments and people, enjoy the company of my partner, see Strasbourg and Münster, and then for the main reason for being here, we’re looking forward to seeing his family later, in the UK for his parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary.
Writing Home Ed Themed literature
… aiming to fly like a butterfly
I had a thought about trying to meet local homeschoolers here. There are only two Facebook groups for homeschoolers in France, which I’m not surprised by. And there is only a military support group for US ex-pats homeschooling in Germany. Again, not surprised. They look like closed private groups, so I’ll not pursue it.
There’s a reasonable reason for why there isn’t a large home education community that matches our tens of thousands, though; the broader community has high expectations for schools in these countries, and the culture of schools is centred in the community. It is a community based education system. Going out and using public spaces is part of school life here. The community at large has expectations of the schools and holds them in high regard. So although I’ve already witnessed hundreds of children out and about, they are school users. There is even a school a short walk from where I’m staying in Lyon, France.
In Australia, we’ve lost that community connection, with parents interacting with schools more like we do businesses. It is a school centred education system, they call the shots. If you don’t like it, choose a different school. Sure, we want the same outcome, but the venue doesn’t operate like the schools here, and elsewhere in Europe. I’ve even likened our schools like eating at McDonald’s but expecting an organic 5-star restaurant meal. We stopped taking on the advice from the UK and EU and opted to copy the USA. Are we surprised about what’s happening in our system at the moment?
If we’re going to treat it like a fast food babysitting convenience, what do we expect? Probably an explosion of numbers into the home education community.
Home Education is a community based education. Our schools could learn a lot about how to fix things, and I eagerly await Dr Rebecca English’s book about parents, like myself, who were qualified teachers who then opted to home educate their own children, rather than use our schools.
While she writes that book, I’ll get back to writing these books.
Ok… now what?
Back to writing books for home educating children and families.
I now have a month to be in an unexpected writing retreat mode.
Any advice will be warmly received.
It's exactly 2 years since I published this and a proper update is needed. I responded to a now deleted comment and wish Alyson all the best. Moving her life more offline results in lost comments and broken links. Not leaving Facebook has been a deliberate choice for me; groups I've contributed many years of content to would lose those posts and all the comments attached.
My writing and illustrating 2 years ago were scattered plans and ideas all contained in Scrivener, while I went through this metamorphosis that I wrote about here. The result has been my current self thanking my past self for the research and notes I have waiting for me at this now perfect time to write and make, these 20 books.
Col has been working in Sydney as a Lecturer and whenever I introduce myself to another academic who exclaims enthusiastically "20 BOOKS!" I have found myself responding, "it was this or a PhD" and all is well in the conversation again. It's true. Prior to this pivot I was aiming to complete a Masters and then PhD, in Comparative and International Education focusing on the homeschooling that occurs around the world, through the lens of Peace Education. I wanted to contribute both towards educating people about what the practice is like from diverse perspectives, and hopefully help clear up misunderstandings for those parents interested in trying it, point out best practices etc, if only so their grown children still talk to them and are free to live their own lives.
I stepped out with a Graduate Certificate at the end of 2019. For reasons why, you can read all about it at The Educating Parent website. It was never only my story to tell, and it is well documented there.
I could have gone back after a break. I had a long time to think about it, but in hindsight, the PhD thesis that would have been published by now, wouldn't have been read by the wider world. The impact, niche at best, likely just a small ripple from a pebble in a pothole full of water. My ego is the narrator of my life, not the driver, so the bits of paper and Dr. title would have been footnotes at best. These books though, well. These books are full of life, and characters. Nadine is a firm favourite at the moment, and her brother Miles. He's written about in 3 of the books but is mentioned in many more, including Picture Books (where you can see where they live), Middle Grade books and YA. He's still around for the adult Novels too.
Looking at the wall of my library, which I've turned into what looks like an incident board, I note that last night I realised that Molly needed a dog, so I've a picture of a Dachshund up there, ready for me to make for the illustrations.
New post showing off my writing and illustration spaces coming soon! And, remembering that this post was where I experienced my first writing retreat, I want to write about the writing retreats I've been on with my local writing group. The first was last year, at Roma Orchard in the Hunter Valley. The next is in 2 weeks time, in Port Stephens. I plan to have many solo walks on the beach, so I hope it doesn't rain the entire time. On the last day of Roma our cars were cover in snowy thick ice. Col and I spent Christmas with his parents in the UK and again I experienced cold temps and a soft layer of snow. And a robin. My first of hopefully many in person robin experiences. I'll be taking a sketchbook to draw the wildlife and scenery that Australia has to offer at the retreat. I hope to have something worth sharing, for a retreat themed post.